Day 20

Long story short – long day. Lots of crying. 1 big fit. Help from agency. Going to bed feeling….. Lost.


Long story long –

Normal wake up issues.

Angelly cried first thing because she wanted me to help her like I helped Anna but then didn’t realize I made Anna do it all, I just directed her….

Ben and Luciano had a rare but serious argument over a toy that left me feeling upset and incompetent. He (luciano) would not talk. To us. He tried 1 time to say something in Spanish but I didn’t catch it and he wouldn’t repeat it. Then when in walked out he started to talk to ericka and Angelly so I walked back in thinking maybe he would talk to me…. Instead for some reason both the girls got upset and cried and no one would talk to me. (Como se dice, I love you and I’m never giving up on you and will love you forever but I can’t decide if its better to sit here with you and wait until you talk or to just walk out the door and continue with meaningless activities and hope one day you can and will be ready to open up?) so I ended up leaving the room and couldn’t hear the words but they started talking and joking around with each other…. Trying not to feel mad and unwanted and outpace the circle…. Part of us wants to deepest them and not let them do that but part of us knows they need to maintain the bond they have too….

Decision decisions.

What we decided to do was go shopping…. We needed 3 stops: lowes, per store, Walmart. Sounds like a disaster huh? Well…..

We went to lowes first. Angelly’s understanding of English is by far the best at this point and she has been trying to take over everything Anna does or has lately. So Anna asked to ride in the cart before we even got out of the car and as soon as we got to the carts Angelly started asking if she could…. Cue tears number 2 when we had to say no to her…. Walk around the store for awhile and Anna wants out. Let her out. Put Angelly in. Cue pouting when I wouldn’t push her instead of daddy. Anna asked to go to bathroom. Well I knew everyone would then need to go so I made the annoucement and sure enough they all wanted to go. Cue tears number 3 from Angelly when I took Anna into a stall first and by ourselves. Well got us all done and back to shopping. Got out of there and went to let store.

Yes pet store with 5 kids. Sound like a Bad idea huh?

Well it wasn’t terrible. The kids ran around like a zoo an ericka would not stop asking for a kitten. She wants a kitten for her birthday and decided in sight that it needs to be THIS KITTEN. My a different one.

Background info…. Ben wanted hermit crabs before leaving for Costa Rica. We said wait until after so no one has to take care of them…. Now he’s decided he wants a turtle…. Which I do not want because they are expensive and need a lot of room…. Unless we find a pet store that sells those little bitty ones…. Anyway so we are explaining costs and all that to Ben and ericka and Angelly are begging for the kitten and we are saying no no no. Which we’ve considered getting ericka a kitten for her birthday and getting it early so she has “someone” to play with because she’s been struggling not being around kids her age which she is used to.

Cue Angelly tears number 4 when we leave because not only are we not buying a kitten today but we are not even going back tomorrow….

Then we go eat. Huddle House.

We get everyone water. Angelly and Luciano have minor pouting over not getting a coke and Angelly won’t order any food except eggs. So I order her 3 scrambled eggs…. We get our food and by then she is out of we bad mood and wanting everyone else’s food…. And everyone wanted to play the game (stuffed animal grab with claw never gonna win game) but we said no to that too…. Tears number 5 from Angelly – when Anna got hurt and thought Angelly did it, we discussed that we are kind and say sorry even if we didn’t do it…..

After food was grocery store. Where we got 2 carts so Angelly and Anna could both ride. But I wouldn’t push because I like to be in front looking for and at the items…. So Angelly whined the entire time that she wanted down…. Which we said no to. I said we got two carts so you could ride and no now you are riding.

It’s been a day of opposites. If we have the windows up, she is hot. If we have the windows down, she is cold….. All. Day. Long. Tears number 6 on the way home over the window….

So all day was about setting boundaries and trying to being loving and kind but also not letting them all get their way. Lets face it. We have 5 kids and they can’t all be happy and in control of what we are doing. Not to mention, it’s not our jobs as parents to give them everything they want (and right this second)!

We got home and put them in reposo. Well the boys would NOT settle so we ended up separating them into different areas for about 15 minutes. Then I talked to Ben and let him go back to bed. Them I talked to Luciano and he said he wasn’t ready to go back to bed and be good so he got more time in the hallway…. Them he came and said 15 minutes later that he was ready. So he went back into his room. But never REALLY settling and kept slightly pushing the boundaries….

Meanwhile things are going great with ericka and we are talking about making chocolate covered bananas and cleaning the pool and what not.

Then it’s time to get ready to go to aunt Monica’s for a bonfire. Getting ready went smoothly and the beginning if the bonfire went good. Then ericka started acting uglier and uglier about stuff and just being sassy and sassier. This cumulated into a huge fit over whether she was gonna use aunt Monica’s bathroom and she didn’t want to unless I took her. Still in the “boundary” mode I said I would not take her. But Monica would. She acted ridiculous and would not go with her. And all this about 30seconds after she was begging to spend night with aunt monica…. Well it just triggered our “mad” but we refrained from yelling and in the drive home I contacted our agency social worker for help in translating and advice and she contacted their counselors. They walked me though some ideas and helped with translations and we had a “conversation” when we got home. It did not go well but we survived. (Cue tears number 7 from angelly and 1 big fit)….

Wonder what the morning will be like….

Got everyone tucked in and prayers said. Tomorrow is church and then I get to sneak away for a few hours to ride my horse!

Dios es bueno!

Praying for wisdom in the face of multiple decisions every minute and clarity in understand and speaking Spanish.


3 thoughts on “Day 20

  1. siamo una famiglia italiana che presto adotterà in costa rica, vi leggiamo spesso,,, la vostra esperienza è meravigliosa e per noi preziosa di informazioni.
    Grazie e il signore guiderà il vostro percorso

  2. We really understand! Yes, the boundaries…and the crying, lack of understanding due to the language and a thousand life struggles we missed, their need for control and safety, our need for God’s assurance in the midst….I’m glad you have such an incredible support system. I’m also glad yesterday was much more of a “nornal” and easier day! 🙂

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