even and a half months post adoption and I feel like I have surfaced from a cloud. A Cloud that covered us in a cloud of confusion for the past two years. On this side of the cloud of confusion I am showing renewed interest in all my old activities. And I look back on the past two years and cannot remember much. My mom told me my horse wore a pink blanket last year. I said no way I never saw her in one. And she said well you didn’t see her much last year. And at dinner last week for the pregnancy resource center, we were talking about last year’s dinner and discovered it was the year before last… I couldn’t even remember them talking about a dinner last year. This is the fog of confusion and adoption creates. But I am resurfacing. I am taking notice. I am digging in. My hair dyed back to the bright auburn of high school days, too much money spent on my horse, and digging deep to find myself and my kids. And enjoy both.
Speaking of kids…. We. Have. A. Teenager. We had the party last weekend but today was her actually day. I took her banner from her party and hung it outside her door and let her do pretty much whatever she wanted to today. Which meant a combination of watching movies, videos, and music. Oh. And then she cleaned and organized her room. And went to bed at 7:30. Yeah. I’m serious. This is not a dream. I’ve pinched myself to be sure!!!
In other news. We had our first family counseling session Saturday. I found a counselor that is bilingual. She’s not Latina and Ericka told her to her face that she would prefer that but then she proceeded to open up and talk to her. We just got to know one another. Told the story of how they became orphans and discussed how things have been going and what we would like to see come from our meetings. I really liked her. Her Spanish accent is different than I’m used to but I could understand almost everything that was said. Which makes me happy happy happy. Too bad it’s in Louisville 😦 but I think it will be worth it. Next appt is dec 7. Which I already found out is the same day I already planned something…. So now I juggle the schedule. Haha. What’s new.
I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster lately and not necessarily at my best. Lots of shed tears. Lots of anger. Which I’m not used to. I’ll be the first to admit to having anxiety. But this was different. I’ve prayed a lot. I’ve asked people to pray for me. And today I feel better. It took someone reminding me what our hopes and prayers looked like last year. Oh adoption you are so hard. And we wanted these kids so hard and for so long. Time, no, past time to remember that and and let the love I feel for them show through. Yes it’s frustrating at times to have sooooo many people talking to me at one time. But worth it. DIOS es bueno. Y nosotros somos una familia para siempre. Y este yo me gusta!!! (God is good. And we are a family forever. And I like it)
Along with my rediscovered love for my kids, was my patience and appropriate discipline. We’ve been letting some things slide that we shouldn’t. And after a warning that better behavior was going to be expected, several had timeout/consequences today. Our main issues: not listening / having to say (loudly) name too many times to get attention and/or not obeying the first time. The day ended with some really good obeying kids. Por fin! Finally! Hahahaha.
Prayers for my friends in Costa Rica now for the finalization of their adoption to go smoothly so they can get home quickly and my friends that are reviewing some waiting child files to have peace and clarity in their decision and for others that are just starting the process in country, for all to go smoothly. And our prayers remain that our bonding continuing and we all continue to grown in our confidence of our places within this family and with each other.
Gracias a Dios y buenas noches.